


so hold me tight (or don't)

by nibuskye



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Battle of the Bands, F/M, Falling In Love, Fixing the past, Gen, Music, Past Relationship(s), Slight Stormpilot?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-07 16:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nibuskye/pseuds/nibuskye
Summary: Her whole life, Rey had dreamed of her success story.She wondered how she’d come upon her fame, the sequence of events that would lead to her becoming the front-woman of the biggest band in the rock world.Whenever she did imagine it, it certainly didn’t start on a sweaty summer afternoon at the beginning of June in her friend Poe Damerons garage.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my first foray into reylo fanfiction with a good old fashioned battle of the bands au
> 
> featuring music from bands like fall out boy, panic! at the disco, paramore, pvris and others
> 
> i hope you all enjoy the cliche, angsty and cheesy stuff to come ;)
> 
> (also i might change some tags as this fic goes along because i'm not entirely sure where it's going yet but lets see)

 

_When Rome's in ruins_

_We are the lions_

_Free of the coliseums_

 

 

Rey and her bandmates, Connix and Paige, had spent that afternoon drinking leftover beer from Poes refrigerator and attempting to write music while they waited for him to show up for practice.

 

Finn, Reys roommate and best friend, had decided to join them. He was lounging on the large worn couch next to Paige, hogging the only electric fan in the entire room. He acted as somewhat of a “manager” for them, meaning in reality he couldn’t actually play an instrument but he talked about always wanting to be involved with a band in some way so they’d decided to trust him with his current position; plus he wanted to be useful to his friends somehow. Rey knew he liked being someone they could rely on for gigs or publicity stuff and he had yet to say otherwise. He’d done pretty darn good job so far.

 

Rey was sitting on a pillow by the open garage door, desperate for any little bit of breeze to shake the melting feeling in her brain. Sure, she was used to the intense hot summers of Jaktown; she’d lived there her whole life after all but that didn’t mean she enjoyed them. She’d already downed two cold cans of some unknown brand beer in a desperate attempt to keep herself cool and rev up her brain for songwriting.

 

She often did say she wrote her best stuff while drunk.

 

“Hey Paige” she called out to her friend as she lay upside down on the couch at the far endof the garage, her legs resting against the wall above. Her black hair fanned out over the seat like an inky waterfall descending into tips of bright violet. “You got anything good?”

 

“I might if the heat wasn’t literally cooking my brain inside my skull.” She replied as she absentmindedly strummed away on her guitar, spilling out random notes one after the other.

 

“Connix?” Rey quizzed the other girl in hopes something fruitful would come from her. Today would be a waste if they hadn’t come up with at least a little something by the time Poe got back.

 

“Don’t even try Rey, I’ve been playing the bass line from Sweet Home Alabama for the last ten minutes. I got nothing.” She replied, a tired drone to her voice.

 

Rey rolled her eyes and let them drift to outside. Poe lived on top of one of Jaktowns many hills and while trekking up it in this weather was a nightmare on foot, the view more than made up for that. It made the town look more picturesque than it really was but it truly showed the scale of the place they called home. Jaktown had started as a small almost pit stop town in the middle of nowhere for traders hundreds of years ago, but it had grown into something more since then. Sure it would still be considered small to those from places like New York or London but it by far wasn’t a small backwater town either. It was, as Goldilocks put it, just right.

 

Rey was watching the cars stream by on the roads, the orange sunlight reflecting off their metallic surfaces she noticed a familiar motorbike cruising up the road towards her.

 

It was about time Poe showed up.

 

He skidded quickly to a halt and Rey ran out to the drive to greet him. As he pulled his helmet off his eyes were electric looking and he couldn’t stop smiling. He was up to something and she knew it.

 

“What’re you so happy about? You finally get that dudes number you’ve been talking about or?” Rey quizzed him as they walked back to the garage together.

 

“Oh no psh- forget about him I’ve found something even better, way fucking better.” Poe was so enthusiastic, more than she’d ever seen before.

 

“Guys we’ve made it big!” He announced as he entered the room. Paige flipped around from her position on the couch and sat up.

 

“Wait, what?” she asked, curiously peaking in all of them. Poe quickly rustled in the pockets of his leather jacket and produced a folded piece of paper.

 

“Here in my hand.” He began “is the key to us being rocks next big sensation guys.”

 

“Sounds like a bit of a stretch but go on, I’m interested.” Connix had pulled herself from the floor and was slowly making her way towards the circle of the rest of them.

 

“This right here.” He said as he unfolded the little while square “this is Dogfight guys, it’s the countries biggest battle of the bands competition and its coming here this year. We’ve got a legitimate shot on our hands.” He said as he showed off the poster, in all its orange glory. Rey grabbed a hold of it to read the print.

 

DOGFIGHT IS BACK!!!

DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE THE NEXT BIG THING?

THE HOTTEST BATTLE OF THE BANDS IS BACK AND LOOKING FOR THE NEXT BIG STAR!!

 

Underneath it listed the criteria for entry: you had to be unsigned, unknown by the general public at large and could be a band of any genre. Auditions were being done through emailed footage of either live performances done by the band or a created audition tape, either one was acceptable.

 

“I mean, it’s worth a shot. Some of the best new bands have come from this competition.” Rey was cautiously optimistic. Sure, this wasn’t the first time they’d come across an opportunity like this but Dogfight was the biggest one to come their way since they became a band.

 

“The Resistance will be the hottest, most in demand and best new rock group out there man I’m telling you. I can feel it in my bones.” Poe expressed, excitement palatable in every word.

 

“You really think we have a shot?” Paige asked, her dark eyes meeting Poes before shooting to Rey. Rey was considered the “leader” after all, being the lead guitarist and vocalist, and her approval or disapproval of this would be law.

 

“Look we’ve tried things before and we’ve done pretty well. I think we’re ready for something like this and it won’t kill us to even just send in an audition tape at least.” Rey responded.

 

“I’ll need our managers approval first though.” She looked over Paiges shoulder at Finn, who’d been sitting on the couch this whole time watching their conversation. “What do you think Finn?”

 

He quietly rose from the couch and began making his way to them. “I mean, sure! If you guys wanna go for this ‘ol manager Finn got your back. It’ll be an interesting experience after all and give me things to do other than sit around with you guys all day and cleaning the toilets at Starkiller every night.” He laughed gently “I’m totally cool with whatever you decided to do, it’s more your call than mine man.”

 

“So, yes it is then.” Rey finalised. Paige and Connix whooped with happiness and Poe high fived Finn. “Besides” Rey continued as Finn wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her “there isn’t anyone I’d rather do this with than you guys.” She smiled. More cheering and a group hug ensued before Poe pulled away.

 

“Celebratory booze up then? If we have any of my alcohol left seeing how much you guys inhaled today.” Poe suggested as he walked into his house with the other following behind him.

 

If there was any excuse to drink, besides the heat right now, it was this.

 

Hours later, and quite a lot drunker, Rey found herself on the roof of Poes garage with him watching the lights of the town below. She’d somehow managed to drag her guitar up with her and it sat beside her as she took another swig from the bottle she held.

 

“You really think we’re good enough for something like Dogfight?” Rey asked, her eyes following the headlights of cars on one of the main roads. “I mean we’ve only been together a year and a half and played less than 20 shows.”

“It’s not the experience Rey, it’s the quality of your music. Some bands out there could be playing for years and still be not ready for something like this. We’ve got that spark y’know? That fire that’ll burn the whole music world down. I just know it.” Poe seemed to be born and bred to make inspirational speeches, both while sober and slightly intoxicated.

 

“I mean some of the best bands out there right now have come from this; Battle of Endor, S.I.T.H, Kenobi and the Padawans.” Rey had many of them on her daily playlists and they’d all enjoyed success and popularity after winning. The mere thought of them being one of those alumni made her heart race.

 

“We’re gonna make it to the top Rey, I promise you that.” He smiled as he took another drink. “We’ve got this in the bag.” Rey returned the smile and rested her beer on the roof to pick up her guitar.

 

“I’ve always wondered actually, where did you even get that thing? It’s always intrigued me.” Poe leaned forward a little to get a better view.

 

“It was a gift from someone a few years ago. A family member of theirs did all the add ons to it like the light up neck and stuff.” She smiled fondly. This guitar was incredibly special to her in a way no one would ever know. The dark grey body stood in stark contrast to the blue neck that was wired to light up whenever it was plugged into an amp. It really was her way of standing out on stage and she now saw it as her beacon, lighting the way for the rest of her band when they performed. The companion to it was out there somewhere now, even if she had no idea where or if it even belonged to its original owner anymore. She liked to think he still played it.

 

“You okay?” Poe asked, concern lacing his voice.

 

“Oh- Oh yeah I’m fine don’t worry. Spaced out for a second I guess.” She thought she’d stopped doing that years ago, drifting off into memories of him. He did have an awful habit of showing up at the least expected times, almost like his way of asserting his existence in her brain. He still owned land in there it seemed and he was going to keep it. That stubborn asshole.

 

“Don’t overthink things okay? We’re gonna kick so much ass that they’ll need to get a doctor in to fix all the ass breakages.” He said as he bumped her shoulder lightly.

 

“Yeah” she nodded, a small smile gracing her face “you’re right.”

 

“Aren’t I always?” He smirked as he lay back onto the roof and took another swig from his beer.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 _And isn't this exactly where you'd like me_  
_I'm exactly where you'd like me,_ _you know_

 

 

The audition process had taken longer than expected.

They’d been narrowed down to the top 25 now and were all sitting at the breakfast bar in Finn and Reys shared apartment surrounding Poes mobile phone as they waited for the call.

In the email the competitions runners had said that they’d call them to confirm if they’d been successful and were officially part of it or not. That was almost a week ago now and all were getting anxious.

According to people surrounding the competition this was the day they’d find out. This was the day their dream would do or die.

Poe was visibly anxious, constantly tapping his fingers against the marble countertop.

Paige had settled herself atop the counter and swung her legs back and forth, almost as if she was seemingly trying to hypnotise herself out of the anxious wait. Connix was across from her, leaning against the other counter by the fridge and shelving units. She’d been keeping their newest Twitter account up to date with how their competition journey had been going.

They’d already gained some attention from Dogfight posting a complilation video of the top 30 bands. Many fans of the competition had been asking who they were in the videos comment section and it had driven them to seek them out. They were getting more listeners on their Soundcloud account than they could have ever foreseen.

It was because of this Rey was more than sure they’d gotten in. They couldn’t turn away a band that was just starting to get on the rise could they? It would be stupid, wouldn’t it? But then again Dogfight always prided itself on being about quality and not popularity. Rey remembered the winning band of 2013, Mos Eisley, barely having any legitimate fan base until just before the semi finals that year. Being popular was nothing to the judges if you couldn’t produce the music to back it up.

Rey just hoped they’d done enough.

She’d crossed her arms and rested them on the counter, her chin placed on top as she sat on the high stool.

“If they don’t call soon I’m gonna seriously have a heart attack or something.” Paige spoke. “They really love to keep people hanging.”

“Maybe it’s a way of building anticipation?” Connix offered, fixing a stray hair that had fallen out of the signature blonde buns that forever seemed to grace her head.

“Well it sucks.” Paige continued, her impatience coming through in her tone.

“You’re right” Rey added “it does indeed suck. It sucks balls if you ask me.” She sighed and reached for her phone to try to distract herself.

That’s when the call finally came through.

Poes phone lit up immediately and he scrambled a little to answer it, almost looking like he’d been jolted back to life.

The conversation was merely a few words, nods and “uh-huhs” before he hung up.

“Guys we ... we did it. We’re in.”

~~~~~~~

The venue was completely packed with people.

Today was the registration day for each band as well as their first opportunity to perform for the judges in person.

“It’s almost like a mini concert.” Poe remarked as they walked through the doors that afternoon. “But most of the time it’s for other bands to see the competition. It’s a way to weed out the weak from the strong I guess.”

“I just can’t wait to see Greedo Shot First, I’ve been following them since I was like what? 13?” Paige chirped in as she struggled a little with her guitar case. “I would consider it an honour to lose to them to be honest.”

“We ain’t losing to anyone and that’s a fact.” Poe chimed in from the back of the group next to Finn. “We came here to divide and conquer and that’s what we’re gonna do comrades.”

“Leave it to Mr Dameron to come up with the inspiring war speech whenever we have any doubt. That truly is a talent, I hope you utilised it in debate class in high school.” Rey chided at her friend.

“Me? Debate? Never. Too much talk and not enough do y’know?” He replied, grinning at her.

“Men.” Rey rolled her eyes as they came to a free spot in the venue to set down their instruments. Rey finally got a chance to have a look around at the other bands they’d be competing against.

She recognised most from the video they’d been featured in. Her personal favourite, Flames of Mustafar, were gathered in a corner playing quick riffs on their unplugged guitars; all in different shades of red and orange.

Her eyes continued to skim the crowd, trying to pick out the familiar faces.

There was one, however she did not expect to see; and the shock resonated deep within her, almost like she’d been electrocuted.

He caught her eyes for a split second before looking away again, seemingly no recognition for her there at all.

She couldn’t believe it at first, she refused to.

But those eyes were fucking undeniable.

She’d looked into them so many times before, on what felt like the longest nights on earth. Nights when she never wanted the sun to rise and break the spell.

There had been daylight too, reflected in the shadows on his face when he’d looked towards the sun, the light that highlighted every freckle and beauty mark that made him who he was.

And of course that scar. That long angry scar that snaked below the neckline of every shirt he wore.

Ben Solo.

Her first real love.

And her first real heartbreak.

“Rey?” Finns voice broke through the flashbacks playing in her mind. “You okay?” He asked, gently placing his hand on her arm.

“What? Oh! Oh yeah I’m - yeah I’m fine. Just- just spaced out there for a second.” She tried to shake the image of him out of her mind but he stuck there and knowing he was less than 100 feet away too didn’t help. This was the closest they had been to one another in just over two years.

“You were staring at that guy weren’t you?” Connix noted. Rey had to give her points for her observational skills.

“Which guy?” Paige chimed in, rising up on her tiptoes to see over the crowd.

“Tall emo looking one over there, black hair, big shoulders, nice eyes.” Connix tried to be subtle in her pointing but she wasn’t one for it.

“Oh I know him! Well I don’t ‘know’ him per say but I’ve seen him and his band online. They’re good, like really good; call themselves “Kylo and the Knight of Ren” not sure what Ren is but I’m assuming he’s the Kylo part.” Paige explained and Rey felt her heart drop. “Weird that they weren’t featured in the auditions video, maybe a replacement or wildcard choice by the judges.”

Kylo.

That was the stage name she’d given him. The stage name they’d come up with together. He still used it.

She really wasn’t sure how to feel about that, not one bit.

“I’m just- I’m gonna go outside for some air guys, kinda stuffy in here y’know?” Rey quickly announced before bolting for the nearest door that would lead her outside.

She felt like she was having fifty panic attacks all at once.

Why did he have to be here? Why now? Why just when she was getting somewhere with her music did he have to show up? Why him?

She breathed in harshly as she got outside, finding the wall beside the door a perfectly suitable place to lean against. Her heart was hammering so violently against her chest she feared her rib cage would shatter.

She wasn’t alone for long though as Finn came rushing out after her, concern masking his whole face.

“What’s going on Rey? What happened in there? Who’s that guy?” He asked as he grabbed both of her shoulders gently. She looked up at him through her lashes, trying her best to not show how equally freaked out and angry she was.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” She tried to reassure him but it came out sounding more fake than convincing.

“You’re a shit liar you know that?” He continued as Rey tilted her head back against the cold stone wall of the hall.

“Yeah I’ve been told that.” She replied.

“He hurt you didn’t he?” His voice was softer now, laced with concern.

“Hurt is an understatement.” Rey explained, deciding it was better to share her burden even a little as if it would ease up the grip around her heart right now. “His name is Ben, Ben Solo and he was my first proper boyfriend up until about two years ago.” It still pained her to refer to him as a past tense relationship. “We were together for just over two years but we’d been friends for a long time before that. I don’t wanna get into the soppy heartbreaky details but to keep it simple he changed and ended it and I haven’t spoken to him since then. No closure, no proper goodbye. So yeah, he hurt me. He really fucking hurt me.”

“Rey I’m-“ Finn was cut off before he could finish.

“Don’t even man, I’m the one who should be sorry, I’m out here having a heart attack over a boy..” She told him, cracking a weak smile to hopefully reassure him.

“Just know that if he comes near you Poe and I will kick his teeth in. I swear by it.” He looked so incredibly serious Rey was even a little scared for a moment.

“Finn I appreciate it, I do. But it’s okay, I’ve just gotta calm down.” She replied. “Besides if I’m remembering correctly I can easily hold my own against him and even kick his ass if needed so I got this.”

“Now that I believe.” He finally smiled a little. “C’mon then we’ve gotta get back to the room unfortunately before things kick off.”

Rey took one more deep breath from the cold air outside and tried to use it as some sort of courage fuel. She was a grown woman, she could handle seeing her ex in the same room as her. She could handle being in the same competition as her ex. Couldn’t she?

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback would really be appreciated guys, thank you for reading <3


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

_“To let me dangle at a cruel angle_

_Oh my feet don't touch the floor_

_Sometimes you're half in and then you're half out_

_But you never close the door”_

 

 

 

 

The bands were chosen at random to perform for the judges and the other competitors as an audience. Rey guessed it was to gauge how bands worked with a crowd as well as how the crowd would react to them. It was a strange system but getting to see the top 15 bands they’d be competing against for free was a perk she wasn’t going to complain about.

 

What she could complain about, however, was the burning sensation on the back of her neck. She knew Ben had noticed her, how could he not have? Granted, he’s not easy to miss by a long shot but she knew she’d been spotted.

 

She shook the though off. He couldn’t get to her now, not when her head needed to be in the game and not on him. It hadn’t even thought of him much the last two years anyway so it should be easy.

 

At least that’s what she told herself.

 

The venue itself was a completely black affair, a way to make the lights stand out more when they illuminated the performers on stage. It was a pretty big place for somewhere as small as Jaktown. Rey had been here many times as a child to see amateur theatre productions, touring ballets, bands she was a fan of in her teens and even a live viewing and performance of Rocky Horror.

 

“I’m not gonna lie” she began as the next band was setting up to perform. “It’s kinda scaring me that I’ll be on that stage when I’ve seen so many others on it.” Finn was sat beside her, his eyes glued to the stage for the last hour.

 

“It’s almost like a rite of passage. Like you’ve seen so many others and now it’s your turn y’know?” He replied, eyes still locked on the stage in almost a fierce like concentration.

 

“Yeah, you could see it like that I guess. Never knew you were so profound man.” She responded as she leaned foreword on the chair she was sat in to rest her head on the row in front of her. “It’ll be sick anyway that much I know.”

 

“I’ve always been profound Rey, you just never noticed.” He smugly smiled.

 

“Or you’ve been spending too much time with Mr Dameron over there and he’s rubbed off on you.”

 

“Well yeah probably that too, guy was made to be quoted to be honest.”

 

“You bet!” Poe called from a few seats down from them.

 

“Turns our he has super sonic hearing too.” Rey laughed.

 

“I call it drummers ear actually!!” He threw back.

 

“Whatever you say Sonic Man.” Finn joked.

 

It was then a small man with massive headphones and a clipboard slid into the aisle in which Rey was sitting and approached her.

 

“You’re Rey right? Front-woman of The Resistance?” He asked. She nodded and nervously turned her eyes to Finn.

 

“You guys are up after the next two bands so you’re required backstage to start getting ready.” He told her.

 

“Yeah. Sure, of course.” She nodded again. Sudden nervous butterflies jolted against the inside of her stomach.

 

They were gonna be up there soon. In front of their competitors and the judges for the first time.

 

And Ben. Funnily enough, it was him she was the most nervous about.

 

She didn’t realise it but those butterflies weren’t dancing nervous jigs for anyone else.

 

They were dancing for him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The lights were bright in her eyes and she couldn’t see beyond the first three rows of the theatre. It was a blessing.

 

She was ready to show everyone here that The Resistance weren’t just another rock band, they were a flavour of something different.

 

No one was ready.

 

Poe clacked his drumsticks together three times to time them in.

 

And the music flowed like a river.

 

“Hey everyone!” Rey called out as they played the songs intro.

 

“My name is Rey! The cute blonde over there on bass is Connix, badass combo piano and second guitarist Paige is to my right and at the back there is our ever talented Poe on drums! We are The Resistance and today we fight!” She called out, hearing her own voice reverberate through the speakers. The crowd was already cheering for them.

 

Rey felt her confidence grow as she strum her guitar, it came so naturally to her like it was an attachment to her own body. She felt the music welling up inside her; and she began to sing.

 

Oh, my blood, once was my own

But in one touch you made it yours

What have you done?

What have you done?

 

It felt so good letting her voice carry her away. She felt so free whenever she sang.

 

Yeah I know I went and left you all alone

Please don't think that I let you go

I never let go

 

Their whole unit was like a music machine, playing each note in perfect sync with one another.

 

Cause I could touch a hundred thousand souls

But none of them would ever feel like home

And no matter how far and wide I roam

You're the only one that I'll ever know

 

As she sang, Rey felt transported almost. As if she was back when she first wrote this song; back when Ben still had that harsh grip on her heart after things had ended.

 

I don't belong to anyone else

I don't belong to anyone else

I don't belong to anyone else

I don't belong to anyone else

 

She’d never imagined in her wildest daydreams she’d be here now, performing it right in front of him. It was a song he was never supposed to hear but fate was funny and decided he should.

 

Oh, my blood, once was my own

But in one touch you made it yours

What have you done?

What have you done?

Oh, my poor bones

Rearrange them to fit your mold

Hang me up on your bedroom wall

Now I can't breathe at all

 

The crowd was loving their every move and every sound. They hadn’t had this kind of experience in such a long time. It was like they were plugged into a live battery. Rey felt recharged and her butterflies kept themselves calm. No, scratch that, they were dead.

 

I don't belong to anyone else

I don't belong to anyone else

I know you only hold me to yourself

I don't belong to anyone else

The blue light emanating from her guitar illuminated her in a way that made her appear almost holy, like she was on an entire new plain of existence when she played. She looked, and felt, ethereal.

 

'Cause I could touch a hundred thousand souls

But none of them would ever feel like home

And no matter how far and wide I roam

I'm the only one I'll ever know

 

She could feel his burning gaze. She knew he was out there watching her. She just felt it. That gaze was one she’d felt both the hot and cold extremes of.

 

Oh, my blood

What have you done?

What have you done?

 

I don't belong to anyone else

 

She sang the last line multiple times before the song ended, the notes fading out into the ether they’d created around them.

 

The crowds cheers felt loud enough to knock the roof off the place. Rey couldn’t help but smile.

 

~~~~~~~

 

The rush continued backstage as Poe whooped and pulled Finn into a bear hug of excitement. Paige, Connix and Rey shared a three way huddle hug before they were joined by the boys.

 

“We fucking killed it!! We really did!! Look at us!!” Paige beamed, a huge smile on her face.

 

“You bet we did man, they loved us.” Poe chimed in.

 

“That felt awesome. We’ve never gotten reception that good before.” Rey still felt the electricity running through her veins as she had on stage. She felt unstoppable, she felt like she could take on the world there and then.

 

“And that was just a preliminary performance; imagine how amazing it’s gonna be when it’s the real thing.” Connixs eyes were wild and bright, she almost looked like she could cry.

 

Rey had never seen her friends so happy before. Not even after their first live show together did they feel this high on the music they made together. It just made her all the more hopeful that this was a sign of things to come.

 

Then the universe decided to have some fun with her.

 

The rest of her band had already left the backstage area after calming down and agreeing food was in order. Rey had just boxed up her guitar and slung it over her shoulder. She moved to leave the area and walked straight into something much taller and muscular than her.

 

“Oh I’m sorry I-“ the words died on her tongue.

 

His dark eyes looked down at her, black strands of hair fell across one slightly.

 

“Good job out there. You’ve improved.” He spoke, that deep timbre sending familiar shivers down her spine; but not in the same way it used to.

 

“Ben I-“ she began but he stopped her.

 

“Yeah I know, you were surprised to see me here. Truth be told I was surprised to see you too.” He continued, walking past her and leaning on a pillar. The dim backstage lighting did nothing to hide his gaze, his eyes were always on her.

 

“Surprised isn’t exactly close to how I felt Ben.” She hadn’t spoken his name in so long it felt alien on her tongue. “I don’t even think there is a word for how I felt seeing you here.”

 

“Glad the two of us feel the same way then.” He retorted. She took a slight step back, wanting to end this conversation as quickly as possible. He was not gonna put a damper on this day for her.

 

But despite her best interests she couldn’t tear herself away from him. He always had that affect on her.

 

“Look, I’m not here to cause drama or start any kind of rivalry. We’re adults Ben.” She continued as he walked slowly toward her.

 

“Who said there needed to be drama? I’m just happy that we’re both here; you deserve it.” He was a dramatic contrast to the last time they’d even breathed the same air.

 

“So do you. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go, my band mates are waiting for me.” She concluded and began her walk towards the door.

 

“Hey Rey?” He called after her.

 

Her name. He hadn’t spoken it in so long she felt like she had heard him say it for the first time.

 

She stopped in her tracks.

 

“I mean it when I said good job. Keep it up and you might just beat us.” He sounded a little dejected, not that she cared. Beating him was just more fuel to the fire for her.

 

“I guess we’ll have to find out won’t we?” She called back before leaving.

 

She made it all the way out to the hallway leading to the exit door before she had to lean against the wall and calm down her racing pulse.

 

Was that really a conversation she just had?

 

Countless times Rey had dreamed of the day she’d see him again and lay into him for what he’d done to her. She had it almost strategically planned out. But no, he’d spoken first and beaten her to it. And the worst part was she’d frozen up, she’d decided to act civil rather than lay into him like she wanted to.

 

Stupid girl, her thoughts were screaming at her, when will you learn to not go weak at the sight of those pretty eyes? She hated he still had this effect on her.

 

This won’t stop me though, her mind continued, he’s not going to stop me from achieving something I’ve wanted for so long.

 

Even if this dream was something they’d once shared together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song rey sings in this chapter is “anyone else” by the band pvris
> 
> check them out if you wanna hear basically the entirety of the resistances discography for this fic 
> 
> also this is so late and I’m sorry but college finals are kicking my butt but I’ll do my best to update regularly from now on!!


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